Manager Seeking Better Talks

I manage a small team, and we have yearly goals meetings. I left my last one with an employee feeling like I'd just dictated a plan he didn't connect with at all. A colleague said I should look into motivational interviewing to improve these conversations. Honestly, I'm not sure what that even means in a work context. Do you have a recommendation for a clear, practical guide on what motivational interviewing is and how to start using it?

I was in your exact shoes last year. After a particularly frustrating one-on-one where my team member just nodded silently at the development plan I’d built for him, a mentor pointed out I was doing all the talking and solving. He mentioned motivational interviewing, and I’ll admit, I was skeptical—wasn't that for therapists? I was desperate enough to look into it, though.

I found this really practical article that broke it down not as a therapy technique, but as a concrete framework for collaborative conversations. It explained the core spirit of it: partnership over authority, drawing out someone’s own reasons for change rather than imposing yours. The guide on what is motivational interviewing was the one that clicked for me. It translated concepts like ‘open-ended questions’ and ‘reflective listening’ into actual phrases I could use in a goal-setting meeting. The biggest shift for me was learning to ask, “What part of this goal feels most relevant to you right now?” instead of “Here’s why this goal is important.”

It’s a skill to practice, but starting with just one or two of those open questions completely changed the tone of my next meeting. It felt less like a dictate and more like a partnership, which is what we all want.